Tears Of Sullen Remembrance
by Napolean
Summary: She knows she loves him, and before she falls into an unconcious sleep, he whispers this into her ear, I love you too. she knows he isn't lying, knows he wouldn't at a time like this. He is killing her to save himself, she knows that is not the way to tel


A/Ns and Disclaimer at end! Enjoy!

Missing

Chapter One

Please, please forgive me, but I wont be home again, she thinks to herself, as her body steals a chicken from Hagrid's coop, her mind is in other places, barely comprehending what she is doing, but even when she does notice, he won't let her stop. She isn't quite sure who _he_ is, exactly, she'll have to ask Tom tonight in her dorm room, he always answers her questions, not that he has anything more to do, he does it with no sign of impatience, like her brother, and not like he is any bit smarter then her, like Hermione. So understanding, yet so secretive. She has asked him, once, where he came from and how he had gotten to her, but he either dismisses her question with one of his, or tells her he doesn't know how it happened. He had loads of pain holed up within himself, she can tell. All she wants to do is help him, but she can't... He won't stand for it, said something about how they were becoming far to close.

_Maybe someday, you'll look up, and barely conscious, you'll say to no one, isn't something missing, _he had once written to her, she hadn't known what he'd meant then, but somehow she seems to be learning more and more just what he had been thinking. When she had asked him about it, he had said he didn't mean to write that and that somehow the book was getting the best of him. As she passes Harry on the way back up to the castle, with the chicken in her robe, he seems not to see her at all, just determined to get to Hagrid.

__

You wont cry for my absence, I know, you forgot me long ago, am I that unimportant, am I so insignificant? She cries, knowing deep inside someday she will be gone from him and that he won't even know she had been the one to saved him. She didn't know how the thoughts consumed her, just that somehow they were true and as real as she could possibly imagine. She walks faster, now, feeling alone and somewhat afraid, she has a wee bit of control of her pace, but still nothing of her direction. When she gets to Moaning Myrtle's lavatory, she can hardly see anything, it was as if whoever was controlling her doesn't want her to know what she was doing. Five minutes later, she finds herself backed up against the wall of the lavatory.

__

Isn't something missing, isn't someone missing me? she thinks, feeling herself weaken and fall to the floor in a heap. Something is wrong with her, she knows it, she can feel it inside, she is drained of all her energy and has a feeling she knows why. She gets the same feeling every morning when she wakes from what is supposed to do quite the opposite. But, mostly, she feels this way whenever she stops writing to Tom.

Even though I'm the sacrifice, you wont try for me, not now. She runs from the room, and up to the Gryffindor Common Room, and just pauses, as if not to disturb anyone, though, again, no one notices her presence. Tears consume her eyes, making it hard to see well enough to get to the dorm, but she knows the way like she could walk it in her sleep, and somehow, she thinks she has.

_Though I died to know you loved me, I'm all alone. _She tells herself, as she grabs the diary from her trunk. 'Tom, you talk to me right now! Tell me what's going on!' she scribbles, waiting for a reply.

Isn't someone missing me, she thinks, as he replies 'Whatever is the matter, my sweet?' he asks, somehow telling her he knows more about all of what has been happening to her then she thinks.

Please, please forgive me, but I wont be home again. 'What are you doing to me? Who are you?' she asks, devistation and grief clouding her pale face.

_I know what you can tell yourself. _'So, you have finally figured it out, have you? You know who I am, I have told you over and over again, Tom Marvolo Riddle... Think about it, girl, you're good with puzzles, what does it mean?'

_I breathe deep and I cry out, isn't something missing, isn't someone missing me?_ 'Tom Marvolo Riddle... I... I am Lord Voldemort! You are Lord Voldemort.' She gasps and nearly throws the book, as the realization hits her. He wasn't her friend, he'd never cared... he just wanted to get to her to get to her brother and Harry. 'Why did you do all of this, why did you make me trust you?'

Even though I'm the sacrifice, you wont try for me, not now. 'Think about it, child, you are Harry Potter's best friend's little sister. I did nothing in order for you to trust me, you were simply acting upon the fact that I was the only one who would listen to what you had to say. Being lonely is an odd way of feeling sorry for yourself, anything that has to do with feeling sorry for yourself will get you into trouble, I can swear to you that.'

Though I died to know you loved me, I'm all alone, isn't someone missing me? She dashes from the room, book in hand, and to the bathroom she was just in, where she sits down on a toilet and reopens it. She places the quill to it and writes clearly to him, 'Through me you will never get to Harry, I wont let you.'

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed, knowing you don't care. _With that, she throws the book into the toilet and flushes it, watching her secrets and truths twirl away so easily. She had told Voldemort everything she had in her, about Harry, about their plans, about everything she knew, and had been betrayed. She had betrayed her entire family, her entire world.

_And if I sleep, just to dream of you, I'll wake without you there, _That night she sleeps better then she has in ages, not seeing the awful things that he would show her, but rather dreams of a boy not unlike Harry. This boy was dark and handsome with his jet black hair and green-blue eyes, he has bewildered her, she knows something is not quite right with him. He seems a bit up tight, but all the same with a bad boy side. She likes him, until one night, she sees him write on the wall, Tom Marvolo Riddle and magically makes it turn to I am Lord Voldemort, she's woke up screaming every night since.

_Isn't something missing, isn't someone missing me? _A few days later she hears Harry talk to Ron and Hermione about how he has found a book, one that talks back to him and about how it shows him things. She gasps, and jumps to her feet, he had gotten to Harry, despite her tries, he will surely kill him, she can feel it in her heart.

_Even though I'm the sacrifice, you wont try for me, not now. _ She crashes through Harry's rooms, trying to find it. It seems to be calling to her, though where ever the voice takes her she finds that it was lying. Finally, she shuts the voice out and finds the book buried in his trunk.

_Though I died to know you loved me, I'm all alone. _She takes it and hides in her chambers, writing to him every once in a while. He isn't happy to be back with her, she knows it, but she won't let him go back. She loved him once, something in her still does, but in the end, she knows she has to keep him away from Harry, she can't help anyone at this point, he makes her feel like shit whenever he gets the chance. He makes her lose sleep, he takes her body over, he ruins her life one way at a time.

_Isn't something missing, isn't someone missing me. _He takes her down into the chamber one day and appears before her, telling her how sorry he is about how he has acted. He holds her and whispers in her ears as she looses her strength. She knows she loves him, and before she falls into an unconcious sleep, he whispers this into her ear, "I love you too." she knows he isn't lying, knows he wouldn't at a time like this.

He is killing her to save himself, she knows that is not the way to tell someone you love them, but also knows he knows no other way. Finally, as the last part of her starts weakening she hears Harry scream out, "GINNY!" she wants to run to her name, but can't make herself move, he tells her to wait and that he'll deal with this. She dies a little inside when she wakes, he is gone, Harry is leaving too. She will be all alone within the hour... Alone, just like she always is, in the end, she'll crawl back into herself, no matter who pretends to care, alone is where she belongs, he taught her that by letting Harry kill him.

The End... I think.

A/N: So, what'd you think? It was a bit darker then my others, but I was in a bit of a darker mood when I wrote it. Hmmm... this is my first Tom/Ginny... I'm thinking of making it a slash between a Draco/Ginny and a Tom/Ginny... or should I write more? I don't know, help me out here, k? Do you want another few chapters?

A/N/2: Mmk... this was the first first-person I have EVER written! Did you like it? Did I do a good job? I wrote it quite a while ago and didn't know if I should post it or not... then I read it to my big sister and she started crying, mumbling something about how I got all the talent in the family... silly kid. She told me that she LOVED it and that I should post it for you guys! So I did!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and quite frankly, I don't want him! I want Frank Lero! . And I don't own 'Missing', it belongs to Madame Amy Lee, who totally rocks my socks!

Please review. I'm kind of self conscious about my writings, and if you were to tell me what you thought, then maybe I could get stuff out faster. Thanks much!

Luv always and forever from a distant land of myth and legend,

Napolean


End file.
